How to Stop Watching Porn

The Devastating Effects of Porn Addiction on Your Life and Relationships

Nowadays, many people are addicted to pornography or live with unwanted sexual behaviour.

Unfortunately, most people are not aware of the consequences that this drug, pornography has on the brain, on relationships, on their emotions, and even spiritual consequences.

If you are addicted to pornography, you may have felt disgusted, and full of shame and often you may have promised yourself not to watch it again, but after a few days or weeks, you found yourself looking for porn videos again, and unfortunately, this cycle brings even more destruction because we lose our self-confidence and self-esteem, and it’s like saying that we lose our integrity.

This is because our brain is guided by a system of punishment and a system of reward, and our brain pushes us, to do what makes us feel good, avoiding everything that does not cause us pain, but in reality, what makes us feel good is often not healthy for our life.

And these systems in our mind are amoral, they have no morality, and our brain in this case, through pornography addiction, does not judge what is right or wrong, if is good or bad for us, but craves pleasure and well-being because our brain doesn’t want face pain.

Pornography is used as a medication for an internal wound or negative reality or even to overcome stress.

So pornography addiction is used to medicate, anaesthetize an internal wound, inner loneliness, a feeling of rejection, and also we can say that watching pornography is a way to escape our problems, our emotional problems, our relationship problems, our reality, and this leads us, even more, to don’t overcome the real problem itself and open the door to addiction, to have bad consequence in our life, in our body, in our relationship and also in our spirituality.

We are a spirit, with a soul in a body. And pornography effect all those parts.

Studies have demonstrated that watching pornography can lead men to have the problem with erectile dysfunction (ED), also Premature ejaculation (PE) or Delayed ejaculation, can decrease the sex drive, can lead to depression, can lead to unrealistic sex expectations and unrealistic sexual partners, can lead to having social anxiety, lack of confidence, loss of interested and pleasure in things that you’re used and like to do, and also damage your relationships because lead a person to withdrawal from have real intimacy and real connection with people, because who watch pornography is likely that they prefer sex without an emotional connection, also watching pornography shape our imagination, bring a wrong education in sex and shape our sexual beliefs and sexual expectations.

Pornography decreases our sexual satisfaction and is a toxic education about sex and relationship because porn trains our minds to be a consumer and not a lover, lowers our view of Women or Men, desensitizes us to cruelty and uses people and makes men or women want to watch more because become an addiction that with the time change our brain because the brain become overstimulated by too much dopamine.

So, when porn enters our brains, it triggers the reward centre which starts releasing dopamine, causing a stream of chemicals including a protein called Delta FosB. The job of this protein is to create new nerve connections, and the more time this experience is repeated, the stronger these connections will be.

So these new connections created through pleasure, in this case through pornography, outweigh all the other connections that are already present in our brains.

And also the problem is that the DeltaFosB protein leads a person to remember the experience of pleasure and form an association with that pleasure, which in this case can be a particular sexual scene, making the brain dependent.

But when there the brain is overloaded with dopamine, it will try to defend itself by releasing a chemical called CREB. That will try to slow down the pleasure response, by becoming more desensitized with the risk that will lead a person to increase their viewing to watch more pornography to get more aroused

And eventually, many normal things in daily life that should make a person happy will not offer any serenity and pleasure, but actually, the person will feel the need to watch pornography to feel better.

But the good news is that our brain can re-wire itself and if the neural circuits are not strengthened with porn viewing, they will disappear over time, so we can be replaced this habit with healthy habits, and the brain can heal itself and regain freedom.

So, as I said, we are a spirit, with a soul in a body, so pornography also affects our spiritual perception, our imagination and can open the door to being demonized, to receive impure spirits, perversion spirits and the spirit of lust. Furthermore, pornography can create a spiritual stronghold in our minds and imagination that is like a spiritual connection with the people who are performing and doing the porn with the risk of transference of occult spirit.

We have seen that pornography destroy and shape people's life, beliefs, their identity, their sexuality, their relationship, their body and bring confusion, waste time and bring people to feel and experience more shame and to feel more isolated.

Exploring the Root Causes Behind the Porn Addiction

Most people start watching pornography during adolescence, perhaps out of curiosity and unfortunately become an addiction, a refuge, and a medication to try to escape and overcome pain, unmet need, wounds, humiliation, frustration and also to release stress and tension

And most of the time, as human beings, we are not even aware of our internal wounds, or our unmet needs, and many times doesn’t need to be a big trauma to be wounded, like a deep rejection, abandonment or even abuse but can be just deprivation of love, lack of affirmations, the lack to be seen. Lack of love and the lack of hugs leave a hole in our identity and shape our perception about ourselves, about our identity and open the door to being addicted to something and usually open the door to lust.

So, most of the time, we are not aware of the lack that we had when were children, but to medicate, and compensate, we’re looking for love and most of the time if we had a lack of agape or fileo love, we will seek love through lust and pleasure.

And the problem is that pornography is just there, one click away and maybe in the beginning, someone starts to watch pornography for curiosity or because feel bored but with the time becomes a medication and a refuge to don't face the own pain.

How To Stop a Porn Addiction

• Choose Freedom
• Be honest with yourself
• Avoid any place or thing that leads to be tempted
• Discover your Triggers
• Be aware of your own emotions
• Accepting your responsibility for your action
• Be accountable
• Seek connections and find a community
• Be vulnerable.

Practical Ways to Break Free From Pornography

Be Honest With Your Self & Become Aware of the Consequences

You need to be honest with yourself and clarify what you really want. Whether you want to become free from pornography and its consequences or whether you want to remain a slave to it, you should also clarify why you want to become free.

To do this exercise is also important that you are aware of the damage that pornography is causing and has caused in your life. For example, in your relationship with your wife, or girlfriend, how pornography has affected your productivity, your creativity, and your motivation.
Think how pornography left you more isolated, with more shame and depression! I know, freedom terrifies us because it requires us to give up the need to be in control and also the need to give up something, a habit, a medication. But when you become aware of the damage that is creating in your life, it will be easier to let go and become free. Also as you begin to recognize yourself as a creation in the image and likeness of God, you’ll begin to understand your inherent value and worth, and it will motivate you to live in freedom, with integrity and in purity.

Also, remember porn shapes our sexual beliefs and expectations:

• Watching Porn decreases our sexual satisfaction and is a toxic education about sex and relationship because porn trains the mind to be a consumer and not a lover. 
• Watching Porn Disconnects us from real relationships and those who watch pornography are likely that they prefer sex without an emotional connection.
• Watching Porn lowers our view of Women or Men
• Watching Porn Desensitizes us to cruelty and to use people. 
• Watching porn makes men or woman want to watch more because become an addiction and don’t fulfil their own heart. 

Here are some questions to help you to become more aware: 

What do I want in life?
Why do I need to watch pornography?
Do I want to stop looking at pornography?
What are the beliefs and expectations that have been formed due to the influence of pornography?
What is the cost/consequences of watching pornography?

• Time, Creativity
• Lack of Motivation
• Relationship
• Disconnected
• Unhappy
• Bored
• Numb
• Lack of self-esteem
• Shame
• Perversion
• Demonization
• Isolation
• Confusion
• Erectile Dysfunction
• Premature ejaculation or Delayed ejaculation

PS: You can’t afford to lose your marriage, your family, your creativity and your time. If you have a partner or you are married, pornography effect also her/his heart, self-esteem and value.

Jesus came to give us a new heart and to shift our mindset, to renew our mind so we can live for him and walk in freedom, walk in the Spirit as a son of God.
So, one of the keys is to surrender this addiction, with all the triggers, and the emotional pain, and ask God to show you the root and to set you free. 
Indeed is important that you deal with the root of your addiction, to avoid falling into another addiction.

Become aware of triggers and understand the true cause that led you and leads you to watch pornography.

There are different triggers, but the heart of all addictions is emotional pain.

Here are some common triggers: Feeling bored, medicate rejection, self-rejection, stress, need for love, affirmation, control, hunger for attention, being overwhelmed, and loneliness.

So, is important that you get to the root of the pain.

Ask yourself:

What am I trying to medicate?
What do I need right now? (when you feel tempted)
What wounds have I ignored throughout my life that need my attention?
In what ways am I making myself vulnerable to temptation?

This is not about blaming or shaming ourselves but is simply to become responsible for your freedom and recovery.

Obviously throw away DVDs, and pornographic magazines, delete videos, and images on your computer, and phone, and to help you at the beginning of this journey, you can install a protection filter that can block access to all pornographic material. And of course, this is not the solution to the problem, but it can help you to become more responsible and be accountable to someone.

Here you can find the best screen accountability software. 

Be accountable and vulnerable to someone.

It feels so natural to hide our struggles to appear like we have it all together. As long as your junk stays hidden though, it will fester. It will continue to control and torment you until you deal with it. God has given us a plan for bringing that junk into the light:

“Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed (James 5:16).”

So, find an accountability partner and sign up with a screen accountability software to help you become free and be more accountable

Create new habits, focus on the purpose of your life if ever write down the vision, the goals that you want to achieve, and do physical activity.

Having an accountability partner who can be a counsellor, a trusted friend, or a pastor to whom you open up, becoming vulnerable will help you to be motivated and also you will receive inner healing.

• Cultivate the presence and relationship with God, through worship and meditating for at least 30 minutes but preferably an hour with the word of God and put your emotions, and your triggers at the foot of the cross and receive in return forgiveness, restoration and unconditional love from God.
  
  
• Recognize your nature and identity as a child of God, forgive yourself, and bless your sexuality and your life. Any form of bitterness/unforgiveness is like pouring gasoline on the fire, so it is important to learn to love and forgive oneself and also other people who have sinned against us.
  
  
• Connect with a community, build healthy relationships, practice self-forgiveness and join an online or in-person support group, if needed.